Low Self-Esteem

‍Low self-esteem is when you think negatively about yourself, the world and your future. These unhelpful thinking patterns lead to engaging in harsh self-criticism which in turn creates low self-confidence and feelings of anxiety, sadness, shame, guilt, and anger. Often those that experience low self-esteem feel incapable and incompetent to complete tasks and therefore avoid situations due to fear of failure.

Further impacts of low self-esteem are always trying to people please in order to avoid rejection and abandonment from others. A passive role in relationships is adopted by those with low self-esteem and will frequently apologise for existing and blame themselves even when they are not responsible at all.

What are the signs of low self-esteem?

‍• Poor self-confidence
• lack of control in your life
• Negative comparison to others
• Problems with asking for what you need and want
• Feeling you don’t deserve basic needs or wants
• Worry and self-doubt
• Negates positive feedback
• Negative self-talk often can be self-deprecating
• Fear of failure
• Negative outlook on life
• Poor boundaries
• People pleasing,
• excessively buying things for others
• Approval seeking from others
• Low motivation
• Treating yourself poorly
• Focus on personal weakness
• Apologising for existing
• Inability to make your own decisions
• Needing others to direct your life
• Negative self-perceptions
• Feeling powerless
• Feel others don’t like you because you are damaged
• Believe you are unlikeable, unloveable and unworthy of love
• Struggles with accepting and liking yourself
• Belief that you don’t deserve happiness or fun
• Minimising achievements
• Labelling yourself negatively
• Going against your values to please others.
• Isolating yourself
• Not feeling enough
‍

What are the possible causes of low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem can stem from early life experiences to triggering life events or multiple triggers.
• bullying
• trauma or abuse
• medical and mental health conditions
• cultural forces such as racism, classism, sexism and ableism
• criticism from others
• inattentive or uninvolved caregivers and parents
• disapproval from authority figures or parents
• rejection and abandonment
• society and media influences
• unhelpful core beliefs
• academic/performance challenges.
• failure
• body image
• perfectionism
‍

How is low self-esteem maintained?

Low self-esteem can be maintained in various ways:
• engaging in maladaptive behaviours
• rumination of perceived flaws and failures
• unhelpful rules and assumptions for living
• negative predictions
• unrelenting standards
• speaking to yourself in a critical way
• being passive
• inability to set boundaries with self and others
• avoiding close relationships with others
• never moving outside of your comfort zone and taking healthy risks

Low self-esteem and other mental health issues;
Low self-esteem can be experienced by those with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, c-PTSD, PTSD, BPD, addictions and grief and loss.
‍

How can you build self-esteem?

‍• Work on self-acceptance
• Work on being compassionate to yourself
• Accept compliments
• Challenging negative thoughts by focusing on the facts of the situation rather than perceptions of it
• Challenge rules and unhealthy expectations
• Challenge rigidity and be open to flexibility
• Surround yourself with supportive people
• Maintain healthy boundaries
• Engage in pleasurable and achievable activities
• Creating awareness of how you talk about yourself
• Be assertive and ask for what you need and want
• Set boundaries
• Willingness to move outside your comfort zone and take healthy risks
• Try new things with an open mind
• Set achievable and realistic goals
• Seek professional help
‍

‍What is the treatment for low self-esteem?

‍Some of the treatments for low self-esteem are therapies such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Schema Therapy, Acceptance Commitment Therapy and Compassion Focused Therapy.

‍