“That’s Just Your Eating Disorder Talking”: Moving Beyond Dismissive Language in Eating Disorder Treatment

"They're just not motivated."
"They don't want to change."
"They're too attached to their eating disorder."
"It's all very behavioural."

If you're a clinician working in eating disorder treatment, you've likely heard or even said some of these phrases. If you're someone experiencing an eating disorder, you've probably had these words directed at you. These dismissive statements reflect a concerning pattern in eating disorder treatment – one that reduces complex human experiences to simple explanations and overlooks the deeper story.

When we label someone as "unmotivated" or dismiss their words as "just the eating disorder talking," we're not only invalidating their experience – we're missing crucial opportunities for connection and understanding. These statements create distance between clinician and client, reinforcing the very isolation that often underlies eating disorders.

The reality is far more nuanced. What we label as "lack of motivation" might be terror of change, a response to past trauma, or a legitimate critique of treatment approaches that aren't meeting their needs. When we dismiss someone's words as "just the eating disorder talking," we're telling them we know their experience better than they do – and in doing so, we may be replicating patterns of invalidation that contributed to their struggles in the first place.

Being "attached" to an eating disorder isn't simple defiance – it often reflects the complex reality that eating disorders serve a function, offering a sense of safety or control in a world that feels chaotic. Viewing everything as "just behavioural" ignores the deep emotional and often traumatic roots that need addressing.

It's time for a paradigm shift in how we approach eating disorder treatment. This means:

• Meeting clients where they are, without judgment about their readiness for change
• Listening deeply to their experiences, even when – especially when – they challenge our assumptions
• Looking beyond behaviours to understand the complex tapestry of each person's life
• Acknowledging that recovery isn't linear and resistance often holds important wisdom
• Treating each person as the expert in their own experience
• Addressing the whole person – their housing needs, their relationships, their sensory experiences, their trauma history
• Moving away from weight-centric measures of health to focus on quality of life and healing

True healing happens in relationships – not through dismissal or oversimplification, but through deep listening, validation, and collaboration. When we create space for the full complexity of someone's experience, we open the door to meaningful change.

As clinicians, we need to examine our own biases and assumptions.
Are we truly listening?
Are we making space for experiences that don't fit our preconceptions?
Are we willing to adapt our approach when it isn't serving our clients?

The path forward isn't about abandoning evidence-based treatment – it's about enhancing it with genuine human connection, flexibility, and respect for each person's unique journey. It's about moving from "just the eating disorder talking" to "I hear you, and your experience matters."

The words we use matter. The assumptions we make matter. And most importantly, the people we work with matter – in all their complexity, with all their resistance, and with all their wisdom about their own experience.

Let's create a new narrative in eating disorder treatment – one that honours the full humanity of the people we serve.

Ready to update your practice?

Download our free resources:
Breaking the Mould: A Person-Centered Guide to ED Treatment
Breaking the Mould: Practical Strategies

This guide offers practical strategies for implementing a more flexible, client-centered approach to eating disorder treatment.

Want to dive deeper? Check out our on demand online course - Working With Highly Complex Eating Disorder Presentations

Together, we can create meaningful change in eating disorder treatment.

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